A Fine Romance

A Fine Romance

music by Jerome Kern (left)

lyric by Dorothy Fields (right)

A fine romance! With no kisses! A fine romance, my friend, this is!

We should be like a couple of hot tomatoes,

But you're as cold as yesterday's mashed potatoes.

A fine romance! You won't nestle!

A fine romance, you won't wrestle!

I might as well play bridge with my old maid aunt

I haven't got a chance.

This is a fine romance!

A fine romance! With no kisses! A fine romance, my friend, this is!

We two should be like clams in a dish of chowder; but we just fizz like parts of a Seidlitz powder.

A fine romance with no clinches, a fine romance with no pinches,

You're just as hard to land as the "Isle de France!" I haven't got a chance, this is a fine romance!

A fine romance! My good fellow! You take romance, I'll take Jello!

A fine romance! With no quarrels, with no insults, and all morals!

I've never mussed the crease in your blue serge pants, I never get the chance.

This is a fine romance!

A fine romance! My dear Duchess! Two old fogies who need crutches!

True love should have the thrills that a healthy crime has!

We don't have half the thrill that the "March of Time" has!

A fine romance, my good woman! My strong "Aged in the wood!" woman!

You never give the orchids I send a glance! No! You like cactus plants, this is a fine romance!