Bill

Bill
music by Jerome Kern (left)
lyric by Oscar Hammerstein II (center) & P.G. Wodehouse (right)

I used to dream that I would discover the perfect lover someday.

I knew I'd recognize him if ever he came 'round my way.

I always used to fancy then, he'd be one of the God-like kind of men;

With a giant brain and a noble head, like the heroes bold in the books I read...

But along came Bill, who's not the type at all.

You'd meet him on the street and never notice him;

His form and face, his manly grace

Are not the kind that you would find in a statue,

And I can't explain, it's surely not his brain that makes me thrill.

I love him---because he's wonderful, because he's just old Bill.

He can't play golf or tennis, or polo, or sing a solo, or row.

He isn't half as handsome as dozens of men that I know.

He isn't tall and straight and slim, and he dresses far worse than Ted or Jim;

And I can't explain why he should be just the one, one man in the world for me...

He's just my Bill, an ordinary boy, he hasn't got a thing that I can brag about;

And yet to be upon his kneww so comfy and roomy feels natural to me,

And I can't explain, it's surely not his brain that makes me thrill.

I love him---because he's, I don't know, because he's just my Bill...